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gila punya lawak

contoh, kalau lawak tu lawak sesangat, tahap 'A' macam jozan, kita panggil lawak giler. dulu, kalau nak describe benda yang melampau, kita akan cakap 'giler babi betul', lepas tu dipendekkan 'giler betullah' sampailah paling pendek 'giler'. contoh lagi kalau makan nasi goreng cili padi yang pedas menyengat lidah dah anak tekak, kita describe 'pedas giler', lebih kurang gitulah.

dan kita ada juga lawak yang gila (insane jokes) bertemakan yang kat bawah ni...

bai'ah will buy you trust and confidence.

percaya boleh menang dan dapat kepercayaan member dengan berikrar dan berbai'ah. yang ini memang gila punya lawak sebab kalau berbai'ah ni boleh jamin satu padu ahli bagi menang, apasal pas yang satu-satunya parti yang ada doktrin bai'ah dalam lanskap politik moden jarang-jarang sekali menang pru? berpuloh tahun berjuang, baru dapat perintah kelantan? aii.. ini memang lawak terbaik dari ladang ni.

panggilan jihad.

ini lagi lawak giler. ayahanda nak pergi berjihad ni, kalau anakanda dapat duit lebih menyanyi kat konsert nanti hulur-hulurlah kat ayahanda, selain berkat rezeki anakanda tu, ada jugak saham anakanda dalam berjihad nanti...wtf..lawak, lawak..terbaik dari anugerah musik 18, yeah!

situasi paling getir untuk parti kita

ini adalah statement dan tema paling lawak untuk tahun ini. kenapa? why? sebab, engkau tu pemerentah. tuan punya kerajaan. yang pegi takut sampai senak telur apasal? kalau nak lawan parti lawan yang kononnya takda apa-apa, yang tak bersatu hati, saling tak setuju, and not even in one logo, yang dok p terkencing masuk gelanggang ni apahal?

boleh bayang tak kalau lawan politik hangpa tu ada kekuatan dan akses pada kelebihan-kelebihan yang hangpa ada la ni? aku tak leh nak bayang hangpa jadi apa...jadi jagung nelson kot. hangpa ni dah ketaq pada bayang dan dosa-dosa hangpa sendiri ni.

kalau mereka miskin

kalau mereka miskin bantulah. wajib di bantu. tidak kiralah mereka umno, pas, atau pkr. mereka memang sudah sedia miskin. janganlah tembok ideologi politik sempit kalian menyempitkan lagi hak dan sengsara mereka. jika berkira-kira kamu miskin dan layak bantuan ini sebab kamu umno, kamu si miskin tak boleh bantuan sebab kamu ini pas, maka tunggulah mereka menuntut hak di alam kekal abadi kelak.

apa lagi alasan yang boleh diberikan melainkan berkira-kira? yang tiada bajet itu kenapa? kenapa bajet nak tolong orang miskin umno, pas dan pkr itu tidak disatukan? apa masalahnya kalau yang menerimanya nanti orang miskin juga? sudahlah namanya miskin, hendak sangatkah mereka meminta-minta.

diri kamu sendiri, yang dikatakan para pemimpin, kamu ingatkan mudahkan menjadi seorang yang meminta-minta? jika jawapannya tidak mudah dan tidak sanggup, maka itulah yang dirasakan oleh orang-orang miskin. tetapi, jika tidak meminta-minta, apa lagi pilihan yang mereka ada.

orang ini kalau di tolong, akhirnya nanti bukan mengundi saya, dia undi orang lain. kalau diberi, dia bukannya tahu nak membalas budi, sudahlah tidak reti membalas budi, pegi pulak menyokong pihak lawan. baik pas, umno atau pkr, dengarkanlah ini baik-baik.

tanggungjawab kamu sebagai pemimpin adalah membantu. bantuan itu bukanlah berbentuk 'guarantee', timbal balik atau bermekanismakan hasil, faham? berilah bantuan sewajarnya, apa yang akan dilakukan oleh si miskin janglah kamu susahkan.

kasihanilah si miskin, kais pagi belum tentu makan, kais petang berlapar sampai ke pagi.

mirror, mirror on the wall

mirror, mirror on the wall, who are the ugliest amongst them all?

they have been alot of bickering, labelling, and badmouth between umno-bn and pr during the umno assembly ended yesterday. they say they have received the red message, to champion the people needs and get better for the sake to sustain putrajaya. as pkr also attacking umno bn for various scandal and accusations, why not we see what is seem so different yet to similar between this two giant, shall we?

1. if they win, dap will rule them all

was it true? was it true if dap was different from mca and gerakan? i don't think so. gerakan were in power and ruled penang with umno full support then, and currently penang were rule by dap with pas and pkr full support. and sorry, the malay have been a minority in penang long before dap win the election. so, either dap or mca or gerakan, all of them will become the ultimate ruler, as long as they have a back-up from the coalitions.

if mca-mic-umno can work it out to run this country, why not pakatan rakyat? because you say so? because you are not confidence? who the hell are who? don't you know what is the people thinking right now? can't you see? the people thinks kedah is doing ok, penang is doing much better, kelantan was a lot better and selangor was turn to poor state like your early predictions.

and, the worst is, we know what all of you gumba's trying to do for your lost states.

nobody will rule us all. we elect. we decide. we are choosing our so called ruler. if you forgot, let me remind you again, we choose whoever we think is capable to become our servant to speak and serve us collectively.

2. cooperation with the chinese

to umno, to pas and pkr. yes, this great country consist with 3 main races, where malays as an power majorities, and chinese as an economics majorities. for this difficult reason, we have money on one side, and power on the other side. it should be tolerate to generate fairness.

i have no problems of your power sharing concept, umno with mca, pkr pas with dap. but, please consider this, before all you come up with power sharing plan to win the election, why not you asked your chinese friends what is their economic sharing plan with you first?

like tony montana said, first we have to get the money, then we get the power.

please discussed with your chinese coalition, to what extend they willing to share the water from their dwell with the malays?

if they not know where to start, here some ideas:-

can they make the 50:50 ratio employment or the supply chain or whatever business synergies required for all range of businesses? and maintain the satisfied rate of salary eventhough they will the chinese slightly higher?
can they stop to discriminate a malay or whatever races of job seekers by dropped the mandarin / hokkien fluent term? your business are in malaysia and done locally, if you're not doing so much export sales or international sales, wtf you need the mandarin speaking employee? all malaysian mandatory to speak bahasa melayu and speak english fluently, no? now, please, drop this non-sense requirement. you have been asked the government to be fair, and it is wrong request if you are practicing a discrimination at same time.
stop employing a malay bigshots who will play a role as an 'ali baba' in your company. remember, when the opportunities stop, the corruption stops. be honest, wtf you hired the 'ali babas'? because you need government projects thru your 'ali babas' connection? do you realise what you've done? yes, you a nurturing the act of corruption. you know you will pay the connection 'fees' don't you. so, please stop doing and approve all of this wrongdoing.

otherwise, please forget to change the malay mindset. dr. mahathir have been trying for almost 20 years and failed.

between the lines

lisa surihani @ persidanga. ombak rindu bagged 2 mil ringgit in 72H release.

there is a lot of 'huu - haa' among the pro-umno blogger during the persidangan umno when the puteri wings rewarded lisa surihani with some sort of recognition to her achievement as an malaysian female artist.

but, personally i think it was a part of 'ombak rindu' free promo event. i hope i was wrong.

yazmin ziqin mohamed, singaporean

intorducing, yazmin ziqin mohamed. singaporean. father indian muslim. mother, chinese. she was the top scorer for singaporean primary school leaving exam (PSLE). she also the top indian scorer. top malay pupil was natalia nadila muhamad. yazmin score 283 points, and nabila 280 points.

if yazmin were in in malaysia, she is the national and malay top scorer. but not for the indian category. it is not the issue, as both of them are briliant.

the thing is, if Malaysia, 40 or 50 years down the road, has been blessed a leader who came from the family of yazmin (Indian Muslim + Chinese Muslim family), and surprisingly win the election and most winnable candidate of the people to be the form a government, can he or she actually became a prime minister?

because looking at current political party labelling, we might found him trapped within the charts here;

Chart 1;

Bangsa 'X' muslim +

perempuan melayu =

Melayu =

boleh pilih nak masuk Umno atau pas atau PKR. tiada masalah.

Chart 2

lelaki melayu +

Perempuan Bangsa 'x' muslim =

Melayu =

boleh pilih nak masuk Umno atau pas atau PKR. tiada masalah

chart 3

Bangsa 'x' lelaki muslim +

perempuan bangsa 'x' muslim =

bukan melayu, tapi confirmed islam =

hanya boleh masuk pas atau PKR sahaja. tak boleh masuk umno, sebab takde darah melayu.

but, somewhere down the line we manage to appoint him (her) as a prime minister, then we agree the 1st rules to become a prime minister is a muslim. not malay? as we know today, umno is the strogest label for malay and nationalisme and bumiputeras, as pas is the strongest label for malay and islamic movement.

if that happens, does it mean the malay - nationalisme political labelling were not meant for forever and will expired someday, and the islamic movement labelling and fight will become a universal and practical in the future? in short, pas is more relevant than umno? damn, don't asked me for answer, please find it by yourself.

sumber:
top psle pupil from rulang primary - channel news asia
lisa surihani artis muda cemerlang umno - utusan
titik penentuan paling getir - utusan
Anwar: pkr-pr tidak sokong pindaan perlembagaan untuk PM hanya Melayu - merdeka review
ombak rindu berjaya kutip rm 2 juta dalam masa 72 jam. bakal pecah rekod? - rotikaya to

what is wrong of being humble?

what is more depress and stress other than listen to the speaker of the current persidangan umno? they have talked almost about every subject. the past leaders, the present leaders, opposition leaders, islamic leaders, malay leaders, political dogma, the old script, stand by false accusations, spread hatred, showing a compulsive and excessive both of inferiority and superiority complex they had suffer, gps-less on what rakyat thinking of them.

peringatan perwakilan dan genderang 'perang'

ramuan rahsia sudah. perisytiharan genderang 'perang' pun sudah. cuma, barisan sahaja yang tak cukup 'kencang' hendak ke medan perang. nak dibanding dengan pas, 'panglima' perang pas nampak 'fit'. umno? choi!...semput.

malas nak menulis pasal pilihanraya. sudah hilang stamina. sudah hilang ghairah.

the world might be a better place without you, you and you. look at my middle finger.

salute to the nation (uae)

salute to the nation

selamat menyambut kemerdekaan yang ke-40 kepada semua rakyat emiriyah arab bersatu. hari ini perayaan besar-besaran. perayaan yang mengenang kembali persetujuan dan kesatuan emir-emir wilayah abu dhabi, dubai, sharjah, ajman, ras al-khaimah, fujairah dan umm al-quwain 40 tahun dulu yang dibentuk selepas merdeka daripada british pada tahun 1971. kesatuan atau 'unity' yang diragukan pada awalnya, namun dengan berkat kesabaran dan ukhuwwah emir-emir tanah gersang dan kaya dengan minyak ini, kesatuan yang dikenali dengan united arab emirates ini kekal stabil dan muncul sebagai kuasa baru ekonomi semenanjung arab.

mengimbau generasi yang mengisi kemerdekaan uae selepas 40 tahun, melahirkan rasa syukur dan bangga dengan apa yang dicapai oleh emirati sekarang. jika 40 tahun dulu, hanya gersang padang pasir, kini megah dan mengah dengan kemodenan. jika 40 tahun dulu kehidupan dirasakan terlalu perlahan, kini dubai berubah setiap satu jam. jika dulu khemah, unta dan kaki, kini silih berganti dengan bugati, maybach, porsche, hummer dan ferrari.